Wednesday, October 12, 2011

38 Weeks & 6 Days

How far along: 38 Weeks and 6 Days

How big is baby: Who knows at this point.  So far she has measured much bigger than Wyatt, but I think she'll actually end up being around the same birth weight.

Total weight gain: 35 lbs.

Last Dr's Appt: Monday - Still a good 2cm dilated and did blood work.  Got the call on Tuesday evening that we are being induced Thursday, October 13th at 7:30 am.  My platelets have again dropped and it is imperative we move now so that I can still get an epidural (drugs?  yes, please!)

How am I feeling: A big rush of emotions and a ball of nerves.  Dr. S will be out of town tomorrow but did not want to wait any longer.  Dr. D who was actually my OB/Gyn for the 3 years before I got pregnant with Wyatt will be delivering.  When I found out I was pregnant, she had just gone on maternity leave, so I switched to Dr. S.  Dr. S is like having your Dad take care of you.  I have complete confidence in Dr. D, but am also more than a little nervous not to have Dr. S by my side directing the delivery.  I wasn't all that nervous with Wyatt's delivery - ignorance was bliss.  This time around, I remember how smooth and easy my delivery with Wyatt was and I desperately want it to go that smoothly again.

Those are just my feelings on Abigail's upcoming birth...I can't even explain all the craziness going thru my mind about being away from my little man for a day or so (we are NEVER apart) and also when I do come home, that I am not going to be able to give him 100% of my attention. 

I have been praying a lot that I am able to surrender my anxiety about not only the way the birth goes, but also surrender my anxiety of being away from Wyatt (knowing he is in good care of grandparents and we live 5 minutes from the hospital so JB will be spending a lot of time with him at home). I know God will provide and I just want to be able to be in the moment with Abigail as we welcome her into the world and be able to focus solely on her at that time, like I did with Wyatt. 

One of my very best friends and confidants, Amy, wrote me these words this morning and I was very encouraged by them:

"We can follow a plan and pray that God lays it smooth. He is so good to deliver us through the hardest of times and always brings us closer to him if we let him. He to will help deliver baby abigail no matter who the doctor is who catches her. I am so glad that you will be surrounded by those who love you and that you have had a good experience prior to this delivery to focus on. You are so strong Emily. It is ok to be scared but know that there are people praying for you and your growing family." 

What I'm looking forward to: Meeting Abigail Jane and holding my precious little girl in my arms.  Seeing her Daddy meet her for the first time and watching her being welcomed into our family by our parents and all her aunts, uncles and cousins that will love her so much and teach her to be an amazing little person. 

Abigail Jane,

To write to you all I feel about your upcoming arrival and knowing that I am being blessed with a little girl to raise, would take a full blog on it's own. 

So just a few have been snugly protected in my belly for the past 39 weeks and as much as I am ready to meet you, part of me also mourns a bit that you are headed out into this crazy world where I can't always protect you.  I vow to prepare you to take on this world though in the best way I know how.

More than anything, I want you to experience all that life has to offer. I want you to be a passionate person who lives life to the fullest, loves with her whole heart, maybe gives your opinion a little too often, sticks by your beliefs and values, learns to trust in God, always remembers all you have been blessed with and holds dear the essence and importance of family. 

Our journey together begins tomorrow my sweet girl and I can't wait to see your face, hold you in my arms and kiss your cheeks. 

I love you,

1 comment:

  1. So, so sweet. You are a mother which makes you strong beyond belief. You will be fine and so will your family. Hugs to all of you! Can't wait to see pictures. :-)