I get caught up a lot when I try to blog because I feel like I am so out of order or skipping over big things that I really should blog about....then I don't end up blogging at all. So I am working on just starting to write when I think about and not worry about what I miss.
What's on my mind today? Breastfeeding.
I blogged a lot when I struggled with breastfeeding with Wyatt, and he eventually went to bottles. It was a hard thing for me.
I wish I would have had the time to blog more about my experience breastfeeding Abigail. She stopped nursing 5 weeks ago (around 11 1/2 months). She was down to only nursing a couple times a day and having some bad allergies and congestion, she just wasn't as interested anymore so I didn't offer and she didn't seem to mind. About 2 weeks after her last nursing session, she was cutting her 7th tooth and was grinding her teeth and fussing one day trying to sleep and "asked" to nurse (pulling at my shirt and patting my chest). At first I thought "Oh sweet thing! She still needs me! I am sure there is still milk in there, I could let her do it" and then thought "what are you crazy!?!? most people dream of weaning this easily and she is GRINDING HER TEETH, not the kind of situation your nipples want to enter into". ;)
Our breastfeeding journey went something like this....I REALLY wanted to breastfeed this time around, but had some doubts, given my first attempt, if it would work out. However, Abigail was a pro since day one. We just clicked. I produced PLENTY of milk. When I did have struggles and questions, I had a wonderful group of friends to ask (shout outs so Gara and Krista, especially). She took a bottle easily at the beginning (we thought this was important so that I could have some freedom). I decided it really defeated the purpose of having a kid who slept thru the night just to set my alarm to pump at 3am and she was having a lot of stranger anxiety so we weren't leaving her anyway. Decided a year or so, with working around her schedule wasn't the worst thing, so we stopped stressing about trying to make her take bottles (this was a bit annoying at times but in the end I was so happy I did it this way). She was fairly easy to break of night feedings and was such a busybody she didn't use me much as a pacifier, even in the beginning. There were times I was tired of feeling like a buffet, wearing nursing bras 24/7, leaking thru shirts, waking up in pools of milk in my bed (gotta love a plentiful supply), finding it a bit harder to switch from mommy to wife, etc. But, I LOVED the satisfaction of knowing I was responsible for her little body growing and being healthy. I was very proud that she and I were working so well together and that we made it all the way through her first year.
I have shared my story with a few other moms out there who were unsuccesful with breastfeeding the first time around and hope they know that there is hope it will go beautifully the second time around.
I actually scheduled a breastfeeding session with a BFing photographer who does some amazing tasteful pictures of mommies and babies to document our success but had an emergency and had to cancel. I can't even express what a wonderful "mommy experience" it has been and made me realize how quickly they grow up and was another level of being a 'full time' mom. I didn't love every minute of it, but was thankful for every minute I could give myself in that way to Abigail.
In our jobs as a mom, we don't get raises or monthly reviews that say "good job!" so when we make milestones with our children, whether bigger ones (like nursing for a full year) or smaller ones (like a non-screaming trip with both kids to the grocery store) I allow a minute to pat myself on the back and say "Damn fine job, Emily! Damn fine job!"